frozen moments

My baby boy is sick.  I’m lying in bed, and he is in the room next to mine, and every now and again I hear him crying.  It breaks my heart.  I know if I get him up, or cuddle him, that it will prolong the sleep that he so desperately needs, but that is all that I want.
I just lay in with him in the dark, praying health, wellness and peace over him.  He was dressed in just a nappy, because he is going through this phase where he doesn’t like to wear clothes, and tonight is warm enough that the fight wasn’t worth it.  Lying on my chest with his head against my chin, and his feet flopped either side of my expanding belly.  As I stroked his bare little back, I realised that it’s not going to be just us for much longer.  And I treasure this time.  It was a moment that just stays frozen in time.

We celebrated Australia day a few days ago, and with all of my pushing and pleading, we actually went out to celebrate, though only for one wonderful hour.  I packed a picnic lunch with Lucy, and we all went to Spring Bluff.  It has been raining consistently for about a week and a half now (consequently there is significant flooding on the Gold Coast) and the creek was running beautifully.  After we had eaten, Tim took Nathan for a walk to dip his toes into the creek.  Nathan was so excited to see the water, but quite hesitant about putting his foot in.  Tim had to just sit there and hold him, and slowly he got up the courage to try it.  Then he wanted to walk up the whole creek.  I have another of those snapshots of Tim holding Nathan’s hand as they walked across the bridge that we got married on.  It’s been nearly three years since that day, and I’m so happy with the stage our family is in.  This is something I couldn’t have predicted, nor would I have chosen most likely, but I am convinced that it is the best way.  It is such a relief to know that God is in control and not me.

With all of the wet weather, Nathan has been begging to go outside.  It is his favourite place!  No matter where we are, outside is always better, even if it is only grass.  He stands at the sliding door, gazing longingly at the wet grass and tapping his little hand on the glass.  A few days ago, after much pleading, I decided that five minutes would be okay, so we got him rugged up.  It’s the middle of Summer, but apparently the weather rules just don’t apply in Toowoomba, as the endless days of thick fog would testify.  So out we toddle, and it really is toddling at this point, because he has a pair of tracksuit pants on over the top of jeans, tucked into brown boots.  It is so much clothing that he can barely stand up straight let alone walk.  Then he is wearing a shirt, skivvy and woolen jumper, topped off with a beanie.  He looked so adorable. Somehow he still ended up with a cold.