baby brain

The pregnancy has been going well. From about 12-18 weeks I had killer migraines that would not ease up and would not go away, I spent a few shifts lying on a bed in the birth centre or calling it quits and heading home. The ability to think or write essays was just gone, everything that came out of my mouth was like jumbled up jelly. I am still super surprised that I managed to get through uni this semester. With all of the craziness that went on, my less than optimal health, I still managed to do it. And I did very well. I got two high distinctions and a distinction. I am so incredibly proud of myself. It is an intense course, and to be able to pull it off after failing so badly the last time I was pregnant was a great confidence booster for me.

I felt our little bubba start kicking really early this time around. It was about 14 weeks that I first noticed sensations that I was pretty sure were the baby, and by 16 weeks it was definite. This little squirrel has been moving like crazy ever since. With Nathan I didn’t feel any movements until about 22 weeks, so to feel them this early has been great, and a surprise. I am nearly 22 weeks now, and there is no way that I wouldn’t have noticed these. It is definitely not that I just know what I’m feeling for now.

As well as feeling kicks a lot earlier, I have started having fairly frequent braxton hicks contractions. With Nathan, once again, I didn’t really know what I was feeling for, and definitely didn’t notice any until about 36 weeks. I was reading in my textbook a few weeks ago that they can start at around 20 weeks, but it seemed a bit absurd. But it is true. These contractions can come sometimes six in an hour, and are quite strong. Very real. Just a bit uncomfortable and I can’t bend over to pick something up when I’m having one. I’m wondering if it will have any impact on the strength of my uterine contractions after birth and whether that could result in worse after birth pain, since I had it fairly severely with Nathan. I think that is the biggest thing that I am concerned about with the birth this time around.

We have decided to have another homebirth this time around. It was just so lovely last time. Being able to sleep in our own bed, and shower in our own bathroom. Cuddling up together straight after birth and not having to worry about when to go home. It was a much bigger decision to make this time around because of the amount of money it will cost, at least $4000. It has been such a struggle because I know that the midwife deserves the money.

She works hard, needs to pay insurance. I have looked at her prices and her costs, and it is seriously reasonable. She should not have to skimp on what she is worth just to get people in. She offered to do it for just the medicare rate for us, but I feel like she deserves more. At the same time, that is a lot of money for us. Considering I could just do my antenatal stuff through the hospital, go into labour, leave it until the last minute, enter birth suite, have my baby by myself (I would have to do a good job of convincing them that I wasn’t close to birthing) and then leave a few hours later. It does not make any sense that the government won’t pay for it. The quality of care is better, and it is cheaper. Get over yourselves government.

I just miss the fact that for Nathan’s birth, we paid $40 all up, for the pool liner. Everything else, antenatals, postnatals, the birth and birthing classes, were covered by the state government. That was our biggest apprehension about leaving Western Australia.

I have no fears about this birth, I expect it to go well and easily. And maybe that is setting myself up a big there, but I am so used to it, and the last time went so well, that I don’t think I have anything to worry about. And fear is a terrible helper to childbirth, so I will just leave it behind.