faint pink line

My dear little child,

Right at this moment you are a little ball of cells, snug and warm against the wall of my uterus. You dont have fingers or toes, but the instruction manual for who you will be is already directing certain cells to certain parts creating you. Your future is so bright, it is so incredible. Its going to be wild!
Jesus is forming your every tiny detail, creating a special little unique body for you, and a beautiful spirit, a loving heart. That is who you will be.
You were formed through loved and you have been loved from the beginning.
Your daddy and I have been waiting for so long for some indication that you would be joining us. We have been praying for you for months before you were conceived. Even more than that, you are a miracle baby, an act of God.
I have been struggling to fall pregnant. The doctor says that I have a condition called PCOS, which causes infertility and an increased miscarraige rate. There is a drug which I could have gone on, but I wanted to leave life in Gods hands. I didnt just want a temporary aid, I wanted complete healing. At a church camp a month ago, I prayed for me, and for you. For healing. I had such faith that I was healed.

But that faint pink line was still a surprise.

Yesterday morning when I rolled out of bed, breakfast smelt terrible. The bacon turned my stomach.  We went out for a leaders meeting with some other youth pastors here in Toowoomba, and their food looked disgusting.  It felt like the room was spinning.  It felt recognisably like morning sickness, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.  I had joked about giving daddy a baby for his birthday.  🙂  We picked up a three pack pregnancy test on the way home.  Of course, the most accurate tests are taken in the morning, so I just went straight to bed, feeling absolutely terrible.  I woke up after about two hours and was complaining of the sickness.  Daddy suggested I take some painkillers, but I didn’t want to hurt you if you were really there.  So he told me to take the test and then decide.

So I did.  Rather off handedly.  I remember with your brother Nathan, I was staring at the stick watching it every second waiting for some change.  With you, I put the cap back on it, and then went out and talked to dad.  Then I looked down, and there was a line.  I laughed and I showed dad.  He laughed too.  And then we cried big tears of joy, coupled with giant hugs.

And then we went back to bed.  You and me.

Now that I’m looking back at it, there were a lot of signs.  I have been tired (though it was easy to blame that on all of the work I’ve been doing).  I have had some quite painful cramping in my lower abdomen, which hasn’t happened since I was pregnant with Nathan.  I had a funny craving for Malteasers the other day!

We are just so happy to have you join our family.  Your daddy and I adore you already, and I know Nathan will make an awesome big brother.